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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Apologies

So my family has been in a sort of awkward stage I guess you could say, ever since we announced Baby J was going to be joining us.

Henry's family has been phenomenal during this whole thing and supportive beyond imagination. Their joy makes my heart smile.

My family though, is another story.

My whole family is technically excited, except my Dad. Up until the announcement my Dad made comment after comment how he was to "too young to be a grandpa" and how we needed "to wait to have kids" if anyone mentioned Henry and I having kids. Not in a joking manner either. 

Now I am 25 years old, I'm not a teenager. I have graduated college, my hubby and I have lived in a lovely home we bought over 2 years ago, and my husband has a successful business that provides us with a life most 25 year olds do not have the luxury of living. We are truly blessed.
My dad was 21 when he had me, so yes he is young, but I am not. Well, yes I am young, but my eggs are getting old. Lol Get it?

When we announced to our close relatives on Christmas Eve that we were having a baby there was a lot of excitement and tears of joy. Except my Dad. My aunt posted a picture of my Mom, Dad and Sister sitting with their shirts and my Dad looked as if he was ready to slit someone's throat. I text her to ask her to remove the photos because looking at them just made me boil with anger over what should have been a joyous occasion. Given we had an ugly fight weeks before the announcement and hadn't spoken since, but he was fighting with EVERYONE in my family, not just me. I guess it was his "period". I figured the announcement would have been a way to break the ice and move forward, but he chose to continue the bitterness and inflame the situation.

Later that evening we went to my parents house to open gifts, my Dad refused to come upstairs and open gifts with us. He actually started screaming and yelling at my Mom downstairs when she kept asking him to come join us. Finally, she gave up and came upstairs to join us alone as we heard my parents bedroom door slam shut.

I tried so hard to fight back tears of disappointment. I mean really!?!? This isn't about you! This is about us! Could he not FAKE a smile?? I guess I should've known that he was too selfish to think of anyone other than himself and his vanity.

Growing up both my parents have always demanded we apologize for anything and everything, even when I truly felt they were the ones who should've done the apologizing (my mom would apologize, but my Dad has never ONCE apologized). But it was always "You need to say sorry or else." "You need to be the bigger person and apologize." "You better apologize or we won't pay for you to go back to college." "You better apologize or have a nice life." And the list goes on with numerous texts and e-mails I still have as proof. But now that it's his turn to apologize do I get one? Nope.

My Mom has tried unsuccessfully justifying his reaction with things such as, "He would've preferred if you would've told him in private and not in front of others."Ok one, I don't care what he preferred. It was our news to share the way we wished. There were only two other aunts, two other uncles, 2 foster kids and 4 cousins present. All are very close family members. Plus, I live 5 hours away and wanted a way to include everyone. It's not like it was a huge party. But even then, what's his reasoning for being such a jerk after we got home and not even wishing us a safe trip home???

Needless to say, I am tired of always being the bigger person. I am tired of certain family members talking crap about him then having the audacity to tell me to get over this.  I've always HAD to apologize. No matter what. Now it's my turn to demand an apology, and rightfully so. That is a moment he can never take back or re-do. I'm tired of him walking all over everyone and treating them how he chooses with no consequences, but now that he has nothing to hold over my head "it's my way or the highway". 

Alana XoXo

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