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Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Baby Blues

Those who knew me before Henry was in my life knew that I did not want a baby until I was 30. I wanted to wait, get married by the time I was 23, enjoy being married, travel, THEN have a baby.

When I met Henry, he wanted to be married by the time he was 26, have kids by the time he was 28, two kids by the time he was 30. 

Henry is a year older than me. 
That puts me at 2, not one, TWO kids, by the time I am 29.

I remember meeting Henry in February of 2009. By June of 2009, I remember Henry bought us amazing Mavericks tickets and booked us a room at Hotel ZaZa in downtown Dallas. After the game, I remember laying in bed talking about everything. Then Henry blurting out that he already had the date he was going to propose to me. 

I was shocked. 

I tried to act all cool and non-chalant. I mean I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship December 2008 - who had plans to propose December of 2009 -  I was extremely leery of promised futures. 

Deep down though I was squeeling with joy, and in the dark grinning from ear to ear!

Henry was not like any guy I had met. 

He was honest.
Brutally honest.

He would straight up say when he saw a hot girl. 
He didn't pretend he wasn't looking or checking her out. He brought her to my attention too.
 I admired that. 
The guy before Henry was a lying, cheating, good-for-nothing dog. 
Henry's up-front honesty, even though I didn't care to hear it all the time, was deeply admired. 

I even remember one of the first things Henry said to me was, "Don't expect me to be a gentleman. I am not going to open doors or pull out your chair." 

Again, honesty. 

So, even though Henry and I had only known each other 4 months - he had been nothing but an open book with me. 
We fully trusted each other. 
Something I was NOT use to, at all. 

Sure enough he proposed April 2010. 
He had actually purchased the ring with the help of my sister December of 2009.

Naturally, in a relationship you discuss kids. 
Now that we were engaged, Henry really stressed his love for kids. 

He is the youngest of 6, with each sibling having numerous kids. And let me tell you! Kids gravitate towards Henry!! They adore him. Babies don't cry when he holds him, toddlers belonging to strangers want him to play with him or pick them up, his nieces and nephews adore him. It is truly the craziest thing I have ever seen - his dad is the same way. 

Kids just can't get enough of Henry. 

Seeing how kids love Henry, and how Henry loves kids changed my perspective on when to have babies. 
Now don't get me wrong, my Andrology job did too. 
There were so many women coming in my age or even YOUNGER who were having infertility issues. All said the same thing, "Well, we wanted to get married, travel, enjoy married life....and here I am. Unable to have kids on our own." 
But regardless, Henry's affinity for children was something I couldn't help but love. It made me want our own kids and to see him with OUR children. 

I had never once before ever had this burning passion for wanting kids. 
It was like before it was something I knew would eventually happen, like just out of habit - meet a guy, get married, have babies, kind of habit.
Now that I was with Henry, I wanted a baby of our own more than ever.
 I wanted a little bundle of OUR DNA to have, to hold, to love.

Going to the A&M game this past weekend only amplified our baby blues. Sitting in the Alumni section with all the former Aggies and their kids was something that truly brought tears to my eyes.
 I wanted my own little boy to dress up in Aggie gear and tote around to games! Every child that was in plain site had us pointing, "Oh! Look at that baby!" "That little girl is the cutest thing!" "Look at those three sons and all their Aggie Jersey's! How fun!"

If all things go as planned, which I know God has plans of his own, we are hoping to be preggo with our own lil future Aggie by the end of January/February. Hoping for an October baby, like me. :-) 

I hope we end up with two wonderful boys!
Henry wants a boy and a girl. 

That I want all boys? Yea, people keep telling me that. 
BUT, I want two cute boys that I can teach to country dance, and take to football practice (or whatever sport, except baseball, BORING!). 
I want two adorable country boys, just like their daddy. :-)
This world honestly needs more men like Henry. 
He is such an amazing man. 
Even though he didn't start off as a gentleman, he sure has come around on his own. 

Needless to say, I have been pinning baby stuff like CRAZY!! haha
If you want, check out my Baby Board:

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Starbucks + Good Deed = Great Day

Better late than never.

 I wrote this post the day this happened, but for some reason never published it. 

Until now.

 Up for a long drive this morning, as in 5 AM morning, so I stop by Starbucks and feed my addiction. 
The line is long, but I don't mind waiting especially since the fall drinks are out. YUM!

I get to the window and the lady informs me the car in front of me paid for my order. 

Have you ever had this happen? The endorphin release is phenomenal!!!  Instantly I was über happy!! 
I loved the feeling so much I said, "Well, then I will pay for the car behind me!" with a huge smile. 

No lie, I was cheesin. 

I haven't been able to shake this tremendously happy feeling all day! 

I mean something so simple completely took someone who despises mornings, aka me, and made it one of the happiest moments. Lol

So I encourage you to go out and do what the girl in front of me did - in some form or fashion.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Ups and Downs of Wedding Planning: Insight Into My Frustrations

WARNING: I am trying to be a more honest blogger. This blog post entails my personal frustrations. If you are easily offended

I always heard of ladies saying that after a certain point of wedding planning they get to a phase where they just want it be over with. 
They are done planning, fed up, ready for the honeymoon, etc.

I finally reached that phase about a month ago. 

What phase I haven't heard ladies talking about is their overwhelming sensation of wanting to cry all the time.

That is the phase I am in right now. 

I'm so hypersensitive to emotion right now it's unbelievable.
I'm also irritated easily - more like a pregnant woman would be, and NO I am NOT pregnant.

I am annoyed...:
1) By those who said they would help with something and haven't helped one bit.

2) By people who call you out for not being invited to your own wedding when you barely know them.

3) By things that should've been taken care of long ago, by other people, yet they procrastinated and here we are in a pickle about a month before the wedding and it's yet another thing that is put on MY plate - as if I didn't have enough to do. 

4) By vendors that say they will get back to you and don't, AFTER you've paid!

5) By vendors that cancel on you last minute - has happened TWICE now. UGH! 

6) By guests who are offended that you didn't let them invite their friend. Notice I said THEIR friend. I'm sorry! Last time I checked, this wedding is about US, the bride and groom! Not your fling of the week or month, whichever! If you're in a serious relationship, that's fine, but if you want a date for the sake of having one, sorry bud, there are family members we couldn't even invite and your plus one definitely isn't getting a spot over family. 

7) By guests that add their own guests. Again, we didn't invite them, so you don't either. At least call and ask the bride or groom, there may be a circumstance we didn't consider, don't just mail in your RSVP with the added extra. 

8) By my face breaking out from stress.

9) By my terrible habit of ripping, not biting, my nails off. 

10) By my terrible habit of biting my big bottom lip to pieces after I have no more nails.

11) By my paralyzed stomach! If you didn't know, my stomach became paralyzed my freshman year of college. I was so upset, homesick, stressed, etc. that my stomach became paralyzed, aka no more peristalsis. This means if I don't take this lovely medicine 30 minutes before each meal and before bedtime, my food rots in my stomach, Yuck! I know, therefore causing me to throw-up. If I don't stop it quickly, I continually throw-up uncontrollably until I lose about 10-15 lbs and end up hospitalized - which has happened 4 times now? This is also the reason I was in the hospital the night Henry was originally suppose to propose. The doctors also told me despite my medicine, to try and keep extreme emotions to a minimum, especially stress/anxiety/crying/anger which would inflame my condition and cause me to get sick as well. This is why I am venting and this is why this whole situation sucks even more. So to friends and family, if I seem insensitive to your problems right now, it isn't because I am intentionally not caring, it is because I have so much on my plate already that I am trying to keep my current life as happy and stress-free as possible to prevent hospitalization. Post-wedding, I am all ears! 

Welcome to my life. *Sigh*
I need a spa day. haha!

Alana XoXo