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Monday, March 12, 2012

Ups & Downs of Wedding Planning: What matters to you, doesn't always matter to others

        I am sure most all Brides-to-be, whether past or present, can relate to this in one way or another. Getting married is suppose to be one of the happiest times of your life. It's a time where family & friends come together to celebrate a joyous occasion regarding love & a new beginning. Along the way, you want those most important to you to be involved. Naturally, right?
        I am a huge memory person - it's all about experiences to me. I LOVE scrapbooking, so I am always looking for moments that are a "first", or a great bonding moment that I could then later scrapbook about. I guess when I first got engaged I had all these ideals of fabulous bonding moments. A mother on top of everything, friends over all the time - just this blissful state that would last for months of friends and family jumping for joy to help with wedding stuff LOL. Well that is far from reality.
         I fully understand that my situation is very different from others - I live 5 hours away from all of my family who live in Houston, I have bridesmaids across the US - Michigan, South Texas, College Station, Houston, San Marcos - and have had the longest engagement ever! haha However, those few rare moments I do have that could involve everyone - when the people I want to spend the most time with, don't care to help at all, it's like a stab in the heart. Over dramatic? Maybe. But remember, memories are the most important to me. I don't care about gifts, I don't care about material things - all I want is their time. My "love language" is "Quality Time" according to the 5 Love Languages  {Which I fully recommend everyone reading this book! It's so insightful!} It's not like I live across the country - excluding Michigan bridesmaid Riki, in her case I do lol - so is it really that hard for those few people to take 24-48 hours out of their busy lives to help with something that obviously means a lot to me? It's not like this is a birthday or holiday that comes around every year {God willing we are around for the next year} this is a wedding, my wedding, a once in a lifetime thing! {Again, God willing haha}
          I guess I have realized that there are just some people out there, no matter how close to you they are, just don't care and will never care about the things I care about. Some of those people have even straight up said to me "....have a nice life..." Words like that hurt! So no matter what, some "close" people will never share in the joy of my wedding planning, wedding day, future kids, or just plain future. Period. It sucks! I am tired of the one way streets though, constantly being the one to go to them, the double standards, being told they will do stuff when they in reality never do, having important things dangled over your head to have things done their way, etc. But as you grow older your priorities change, people come and go in your life, you tire of the games and realize they aren't worth it. They just plain aren't worth it - and it's time to move on.

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