34 Weeks

How far along? 34 Weeks 

Total weight gain? Up 31 lbs. I go in again Week 36 for another soon! I really wanted to stay below 30 lbs, but as we can see I have gone up one pound over and Coraline still has big growth spurts ahead...my dream seems to be squashed. :-[ They say at this point she is growing 30 grams a day!

Maternity Clothes? ASOS is my top #1 choice! The tops/tunics run true to your pre-pregnancy size. (Given you didn't let yourself go and blow up like a balloon - boob growth is accommodated for). I found that the pants are true to your current pregnant size. So if you measure your hips properly, use their size chart to order the proper pregnancy size. Yes this means you may order a 10/12/14. Grieve for a bit, then get over it. My next choices are The Gap/Old Navy. I have really only ordered tank tops from there and again, true to pre-pregnancy size. However, for 3rd trimester I recommend going up one size, the belly region can get tight. :-)

Stretch Marks?  The red marks are still on my butt! Good news, the red marks on my boob have vanished! Gone! Not even a slight sign that they were once even there. WHOOP! What is amazing is no stretch marks on my belly, none what-so-ever! 

Sleep:  Sleeping is WAY off. By 4 pm I am exhausted! I want to take a nap, but always talk myself out of it. By nighttime I am exhausted and feel like I should be able to pass right out, but don't. Major insomnia. I should probably just start giving in to the 4 pm nap. :-/ Either way I am EXTREMELY tired.

Best moment this week: Found out what position Coraline is in and Henry learned massage techniques from our Doula!

Miss Anything? Alcohol. It is hot and I want to enjoy the fun fruity alcoholic beverages everyone else is getting to enjoy. Jealous. 

Movement: She LOVES to move!! What's new? ha! Oh and hiccups! Those movements count, right?

Food cravings: Watermelon. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Textures are still making me sick. 

Gender RESULTS: BABY GIRL!!! My gut feeling was right all along! I absolutely can't wait to meet her!

Labor Signs: More and more contractions! 

Symptoms: 
Exhaustion! Absolutely exhausted.
Braxton Hicks! Yay.
Very small bladder...very. small.
Baby hiccups
If I don't take my prenatal vitamin at night, my legs get extremely antsy! It feels like I need to go running they get so antsy. However, if I take my pre-natal within 30 minutes they chill out. I read that it has to do with the iron. Either way, it works.
Movements have changed from individual movements to feeling simultaneous movements in two different spots. Like I will feel something toward my right side up by my ribs, and at the same time another movement on the left side of my belly button. It's the weirdest, yet most wonderful feeling in the world.
Disappearing belly button, baby bump, nails and hair growing like weeds, baby movements (the best!) and my boobs have drastically increased.
Occasional swelling of my feet and hands. Especially my right foot. 

Belly Button in or out? My belly button is officially FLAT. No innie, no outtie. 

Wedding rings on or off? Both rings have moved to my pinkie fingers. I had a scare with my Aggie ring and just decided to keep them both there. Juuuust in case. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, Happy!

Looking forward to: Finishing out the nursery and getting back into our house from the tornado!

Baby Name? Coraline! I love the name!! See WEEK 21 for name details. <3

Thoughts: I have mentioned before that I am planning a natural child birth but in a hospital. I can not stress to you how grateful I am that we have hired a Doula for the process. I have read and been told on countless occasions to hire a doula for a natural birth, but ESPECIALLY if you plan to natural birth in a hospital. No matter which way we choose to birth, I am beyond happy that we hired Jenni. She actually came to our Birth Boot Camp class this week and taught all the Hubby's a few massage techniques for the aching Mommies. Boy are they FABULOUS! Henry really picked up on what she taught and has been doing wonderful at home. We, or I, particularly like a thing called "Rebozo" or "Sifting". It lifts the baby's weight off my back and accommodates Coraline to be in a better position. We learned right now she is in the LOT position. AKA - Her head is down, facing my right side, back side is on my left side, which is why I feel her little feet on the upper right side of my ribs/torso. LOA - where she is head down, facing my spine is the optimal position, but LOT is the 2nd best. Go little Coraline! 

About the Board:

We themed the board around her nautical name and nautical room. :-) Like my attempted seahorsies?
She is roughly 5 lbs and the size of a small pumpkin. I really need to take a step back, I didn't realize my usual spot is starting to interfere with the board. Oopsie!

Pregnancy/Maternity Fashion: 

Dress is from Motherhood Maternity.

Pregnancy Hormones & Cervical Checks

Today I am officially 38 weeks & 2 days! Holy guacamole where has the time gone?!

First, when they say the "nesting" kicks in, that is no joke. If you keep wondering, "I wonder when mine will kick in?" Dont worry it will. Nesting is up there right along with "panic", only a good panic, in my opinion.

Today was my 2nd cervical check. Yippee!
Not.
The first one was pretty great. Slightly uncomfortable, but I was 2cm dilated and the doc was ecstatic. She warned me of slight spotting and cramping, but no biggie unless it goes longer than 24 hours. ..or my water breaks or contractions intensified.  She also didnt expect me to go up to my due date. Even better! We can't wait to meet our Little Lady anyway
Fast forward to today, check #2. I am a good 2.5 maybe 3 & 70% effaced. But she "feels" a bit higher than last time, and "Holy Guacamole did that hurt, you can stop now!". That hurt WAY more than the first time. WTH was so different?? Again, warned of slight spotting and cramping.
What was so different? This time it hurt and this time there was a lot of "spotting" which was more like the beginning of a period, but "normal" and lots of irregular contractions.

I felt extremely traumatized every time I went to use the restroom and saw more blood - knowing it wasn't natural and more "inflicted".

I became extremely irritable and emotional - which thank the Lord has not been the case this entire pregnancy.  My husband can probably count all my emotional days or meltdown days on one hand. I have had an extremely happy pregnancy for the most part. Today felt like it made up for all those lacking.  To top it off, it was the last day of Birth Boot Camp. I love Birth Boot Camp, its been a wonderful learning experience and has really helped my husband and I communicate. Towards the end of the class though, irregular contractions began. What made it worse,  this was the ONE class I didnt bring my swiss ball and was uncomfortably sitting on the floor.
I felt like everyone was staring at me and they jusy knew I was having contractions.  Which in reality I am sure no one noticed, or cared, not to mention THEY ARE ALL PREGNANT TOO! Yet, here I was squirming on the floor, avoiding eye contact and felt like everyone was staring. I did not like having contractions in public.  I wanted to be in the comfort of my home, dimmed lights, with just Henry soothing me.

Finally, the class ended and of course everyone wanted to say goodbye and good luck. I felt like I was going to burst into tears any time I began to open my mouth and in all honesty wanted to dash out of ther unnoticed. Henry had developed a few friends and began to chat, I stayed back swaying through my silent contractions. Then one of the husband's kindly say, "Well you could go any day, you excited?" And I burst into tears!!!! So. Embarassing! Henry was so confused, and as I held my head down, crying and scurrying away, I heard Henry apologize on my behalf and the husband being very understanding.

Once I reached the car I just bawled! Henry was so confused! I was certain I had not only embarassed myself, but him too. He silently rubbed my head as he drove us home and listened to me bawl and ramble off emotional jibberish. He acted frustrated at first, but finally as I settled in on my swiss ball he came up and just wrapped me in a big bear hug...immediately I felt so much better.  He proceeded to put his lense-less ray bans on Buddha which sent me in hysterical laughter. We talked about what I was feeling and came to the resolution that I was going to deny any further cervical exams unless I go past my due date.  If they wouldnt let me refuse them, well then I will just keep rescheduling until hospital time. Haha

Needless to say, today has been very emotionally exhausting and I am so thankful our AC will finally be replaced tomorrow so I can just lounge at the house all day and relax!

Labor Fears: C-Section

Today in our birth boot camp class we learned a lot about c-sections and various complications that can occur during labor. It was a very emotionally trying class, for me at least.

We got to watch a generic home c-section video filmed by the father to be. It was slightly traumatic for me to watch and took everything I had in me to not start bawling!  To see how the doctors manhandled the baby, stuck a suctioning tube down the crying babies nose and throat repeatedly, then hold the baby over the curtain, "say hi mom", then whisked away to do standard checks and even more suctioning while the newborn cried and tried to push hands away...ugh it was terrible! Like one of those horror movies where you have the urge to yell, "Don't open the door!" Or "Dont go in there!" Only I wanted to yell, "Leave that damn baby alone!"

It made me realize I dont fear an epidural, I truly fear a c-section.  I have had 3 separate procedures where I have woken up in the middle of, and 2 procedures where local anesthesia has worn off, or just never kicked in. Maybe that's one subconscious reason I don't care about the epidural, because I figure it won't work anyway.

I want to hold my baby and breastfeed after delivery.  I want the cord to stay attached until it stops pumping.  I want to endure/experience natural labor because I know my body can handle it.

Today's class made me realize my true fear of labor, but was very empowering at the same time.  Either way, I know God has already determined my birth plan and the story of Coralines delivery, and I need to have faith that regardless of how she is born, the ultimate goal is a healthy baby.

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the lord." Isaiah 66:9

Real World, Real Problems

This post really has no purpose other than to feel sorry for myself and rant a bit, so just hear me out. haha

When I met Henry I had a whole different life planned out for myself. They always say though, "Life happens when you're making plans". That sure did happen with me! I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world, but it definitely has not turned out one bit the way I envisioned. 

I ended up leaving my entire family in Houston to move to Henry's hometown near Fort Worth. I opted out of pursuing my ideal career to get married and take a month long honeymoon. Such a terrible trade, right? haha. Now yes my alternate plans included becoming a successful business woman. Instead I have become a wife, a soon-to-be mom, and world traveler. haha. I have done things with Henry I didn't really prioritize doing in my "ideal" previous life. We have travelled to Colorado numerous times (love it there!), Vegas numerous times, Tennessee, Michigan, Greece, Italy, England, USVI, then countless roadtrips. I can't say I have much to complain about. 

I ended up giving up my amazing job to work in the "family" business as Henry's Finance Manager. The ironic part of this, I use to help Space Center Houston/NASA in their finance department. I remember them asking me on numerous occasions to switch my Biology major to a Finance major so I could work for them after graduation. I always told them no, that I didn't see myself doing finance for the rest of my life....and here I am....doing finance. HA! 

With a baby on the way it has even made finance work for the company difficult, especially with an office assistant that recently has become extremely unreliable on her ability to show up on time or stay an entire day, or get anything done without an error. We have about 3 weeks until Coraline is due and we have been kind of rushing around figuring out what we are going to do to ensure I don't have to tote a newborn back and forth to that dusty, dirty, hazardous construction office. Most pregnant women around this time are getting ready to take their maternity leave. You don't get maternity leave when you own your own business. 

Either way we are making due and have had a few wonderful people help us figure out remote log ins and various things to help out. But like I said before, I don't see myself doing finance for the rest of my life either. I don't mind help managing the office from a distance to ensure no one is stealing from us (happened with the last two secretaries) and that things run smoothly. No one cares about your business more than you. I also didn't ever picture myself being a stay at home mom. However, with Henry inconsistently working in town, I do not want a stranger raising our kids either. 

I mentioned to Henry a local business that was hiring part-time. This is a company I adore and love going in their shop to browse. I mentioned the possibility of me working for them part-time after Coraline is born. It would be such a fun job, doing something I love, giving me some "me time", and allowing me to make a little of my own on the side to do with what I want. Henry's sister even volunteered to babysit Coraline for me so I could go off and enjoy the part-time job without worrying about a stranger watching our baby. I mean I have given up A LOT to go with Henry's plans and dreams, so I figured he would be supportive of this one little tiny "me" request. When he laughed at me and said no I couldn't do it, that was a hobby and not a job, I about had a pregnancy meltdown on a whole different level. Instead I took a deep breath, bit my tongue and dropped the whole conversation. Hell, I will do it regardless of his support or not. He is rarely in town anyway. It wasn't worth the fight, but it was heartbreaking that he dismissed it just because it didn't sound interesting to him.

I can honestly say I feel extremely trapped and limited in this small town. I am not use to the lack of amenities Houston had to offer. I love the connections that come with a small town, but sometimes I feel like I can't breath living here. 

I absolutely can't wait until Coraline is born because it will give me a legitimate excuse to go into the "city" haha. I look forward to ballet recitals or volleyball tournaments or track meets - doing fund-raisers, bake sales, etc. I look forward to being that pro-active mom that helps her daughter out wherever she will allow me without being smothering (I mean I will try not to smother her). I know I will always continue to help Henry out in the company as much as possible, I just don't trust anyone else to handle the finances and accounts. People see these large checks come in and see dollar signs and their own problems. They don't see the bills, invoices and payroll that those checks have to go toward. I don't mind telling people no and being the bad person for Henry, but other people won't care. So to have a small part-time job aside from helping Henry's company and raising kids would be amazing to me. It would make me feel like I truly had something for ME.

 I would finally be doing something for me, myself and no one else. 

I just wish Henry would be more supportive. :-/ Hopefully he will come around.