Pregnancy Hormones & Cervical Checks

Today I am officially 38 weeks & 2 days! Holy guacamole where has the time gone?!

First, when they say the "nesting" kicks in, that is no joke. If you keep wondering, "I wonder when mine will kick in?" Dont worry it will. Nesting is up there right along with "panic", only a good panic, in my opinion.

Today was my 2nd cervical check. Yippee!
Not.
The first one was pretty great. Slightly uncomfortable, but I was 2cm dilated and the doc was ecstatic. She warned me of slight spotting and cramping, but no biggie unless it goes longer than 24 hours. ..or my water breaks or contractions intensified.  She also didnt expect me to go up to my due date. Even better! We can't wait to meet our Little Lady anyway
Fast forward to today, check #2. I am a good 2.5 maybe 3 & 70% effaced. But she "feels" a bit higher than last time, and "Holy Guacamole did that hurt, you can stop now!". That hurt WAY more than the first time. WTH was so different?? Again, warned of slight spotting and cramping.
What was so different? This time it hurt and this time there was a lot of "spotting" which was more like the beginning of a period, but "normal" and lots of irregular contractions.

I felt extremely traumatized every time I went to use the restroom and saw more blood - knowing it wasn't natural and more "inflicted".

I became extremely irritable and emotional - which thank the Lord has not been the case this entire pregnancy.  My husband can probably count all my emotional days or meltdown days on one hand. I have had an extremely happy pregnancy for the most part. Today felt like it made up for all those lacking.  To top it off, it was the last day of Birth Boot Camp. I love Birth Boot Camp, its been a wonderful learning experience and has really helped my husband and I communicate. Towards the end of the class though, irregular contractions began. What made it worse,  this was the ONE class I didnt bring my swiss ball and was uncomfortably sitting on the floor.
I felt like everyone was staring at me and they jusy knew I was having contractions.  Which in reality I am sure no one noticed, or cared, not to mention THEY ARE ALL PREGNANT TOO! Yet, here I was squirming on the floor, avoiding eye contact and felt like everyone was staring. I did not like having contractions in public.  I wanted to be in the comfort of my home, dimmed lights, with just Henry soothing me.

Finally, the class ended and of course everyone wanted to say goodbye and good luck. I felt like I was going to burst into tears any time I began to open my mouth and in all honesty wanted to dash out of ther unnoticed. Henry had developed a few friends and began to chat, I stayed back swaying through my silent contractions. Then one of the husband's kindly say, "Well you could go any day, you excited?" And I burst into tears!!!! So. Embarassing! Henry was so confused, and as I held my head down, crying and scurrying away, I heard Henry apologize on my behalf and the husband being very understanding.

Once I reached the car I just bawled! Henry was so confused! I was certain I had not only embarassed myself, but him too. He silently rubbed my head as he drove us home and listened to me bawl and ramble off emotional jibberish. He acted frustrated at first, but finally as I settled in on my swiss ball he came up and just wrapped me in a big bear hug...immediately I felt so much better.  He proceeded to put his lense-less ray bans on Buddha which sent me in hysterical laughter. We talked about what I was feeling and came to the resolution that I was going to deny any further cervical exams unless I go past my due date.  If they wouldnt let me refuse them, well then I will just keep rescheduling until hospital time. Haha

Needless to say, today has been very emotionally exhausting and I am so thankful our AC will finally be replaced tomorrow so I can just lounge at the house all day and relax!